Every day is full of disciplinary challenges with my two little children. Mandy is in to throwing fits, throwing plates and silverware, and hitting -- that is for another topic. Arg. And Emma has taken to lying about things great or small. I confront every disobedience with what I believe is an appropriate punishment. The challenge comes with the girls' age difference and their understanding of different punishments. When I put Emma in "time-out", known as the naughty seat at our house, Mandy LOVES to join her. She pats Emma's back if she's crying and tries to give her a hug. Usually Emma shouts, "I'm not in the mood!", but Mandy doesn't care.
The other day Emma blamed Mandy for writing in ink all over my jumbo wall calendar. My calendar is the brains of this household, so keeping it organized and scribble free is a priority. I was mad and I also know Mandy couldn't have done it. I seriously don't know why I ever thought I was smarter than my parents -- sorry mom and dad! Mandy would have had to be at least a foot taller, be able to uncap a pen, scribble in straight lines like writing, recap the pen, move the stool she used to climb up on and then disappear into the bedroom and resume playing with the kitchen. Not likely. Emma was immediately given a punishment for lying plus put on the naughty seat to think about what she had done; not only destroying my property but lying to get someone else in trouble. Before I knew it, Mandy was on the step beside Emma comforting her. Mandy got up when Emma was still throwing her "I wish I hadn't been caught fit" and returned with two books which happened to be Bibles. Emma calmed right down and started "reading" her familiar Bible stories to Mandy. It was an excellent opportunity and I opened up one of the Bibles (an actually New Testament) and read to them what God had to say about disobedience. I couldn't resist the picture, praying that this was a lesson learned.
"The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in (children) who are truthful." Prov. 12:22
13 comments:
It's so hard sometimes to know the best way to deal with the heart behind certain issues. Good for you taking your girls to the Word. God is so faithful!
Keep it up, Mama! You're doing a great job! Hang in there in the tough times and difficult days. All your hard work in training your children will pay off some day.
We had a hard time with #2 lying at about age 4 too. The lies were sometimes "big" like your story of Emma and the writing but sometimes really small and about something he had no need to lie about. We started a standard punishment for not using our mouths correctly; biting, lying, back-talking, etc. After a few unpleasent consequences he decided using his mouth appropriately was the way to go. Persistance (on your part), clear/unwelcomed concequences, and the Word, which will never return void and you will raise fabulous young women!
One of mine has a problem with lying, too. It seems like some kids just struggle with that more than others. Way to go, for being diligent. That is so sweet that Mandy happened to bring out the Bibles. God works in the littlest of ways, huh?
We are having one of those days over here too, what is it about Monday's? Emma is lucky to have a mom that will correct her!
We do Time Outs as well but don't have a consistent spot. Usually we send Grace to her room to sit on her bed when she's in trouble unless Ethan is napping in there and then we improvise and use one of the boring bathrooms. Ethan loves to toddle on into the room when Grace is in trouble and we usually try to keep him out of there. She's usually in trouble for harming Ethan in some way and having him walk in laughing can seriously dampen a discussion on why it's not ok to hit your little brother!
we use hot sauce, or mouth sauce for mouth offenses.
I was interrupted last night as I was reading this and shut the laptop right at "I am not in the mood!" and giggled.
I got to finish this morning and I love the way the story ended, especially with the picture!
Can you feel me giving you "the look" you mentioned in another blog like "I sure hope I can handle it like that when Madison goes through the lying stage." Great job Momma!
Mine has that problem too. He's getting a little better. We go through Proverbs with every offense, I don't remember the reference off the top of my head, the Bible just opens to it now. About 6 things the Lord hates--lying is in there twice! and so is "stirring up dissension" which is what blaming it on your sibling boils down to. Yikes. So the rule around here is "it will always hurt more if you lie about it." Now when he does something and is about to lie about it (he gets this look...), I say "think about the consequences before you answer." This helps too, and I find I'm needing to ask less frequently.
I hope Emma learns her lesson faster than mine is!
You are a wise woman and your girls are truly bless to have a mom who cares enough to teach them and direct them. It's not fun but I'm trusting that the rewards are worth it. I remember trying to pull fast ones on my parents and now I think that I was such a moron for trying. Obviously my parents knew what was going on. It was probably even more obvious because I am 4 1/2 years older than Brad. What was I thinking?! Huge hugs to you from an another mom trying to do things the right way and needs lots of extra grace.
Alysun, another pat on the back from Aunt Marci. You handled it great, and those little teaching moments are no coincidense. They are from the Lord. Never pass a teachable moment up. Using scripture is how I handled lying in my children, because the Lord promises that His word will not return void.
Ditto, ditto, ditto. You ARE doing a great job. Keep it up. How can it be that such sweetness in that picture is of naughtiness being disciplined! Love it!
we also use tabasco sauce for potty mouth, sassing, and lying. it is pretty effective.
with that being said, my oldest (nearly 9) is starting to be a little sneaky lately and it is challenging to get through to him that the issue of personal integrity is what is really at stake. thank goodness for the scriptures, with so many great verses on the subject. hopefully he can learn the principle rather than just know the rule that we are honest.
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