Infamous in my town

Someone famous came to my little town on Saturday. I didn't have anything going on, so I decided to go and see what the big deal was all about. How often does a celebrity brush through a place so significant to me, yet so out of the way for him? Well, never. I suppose I would give the same time in my day to see anyone this famous, just for the experience. When Extreme Makeover was working on a house just 10 minutes down the road, I went and saw them. It was interesting. I saw Ty, Ed, and Paige. I saw the crew that really does all the work. I experienced the big deal and went back to my little life.

So, on Saturday, I set out to see the famous, or some would say infamous. I left Emma with Jeff and Mandy and I drove in to town and parked only 2 blocks from the meeting sight. What a break, I thought, No one else is here. I bet I'll even get a good seat (I was 1/2 hour early). I loaded Mandy in to the stroller and we walked the short walk to the gym. I saw a line of people waiting and thought, I guess the doors aren't open yet. I'll just find the end of the line around the side of the building and we'll be seated shortly.... I'm sure. (Walking to the side of the building) WHAT!!! -- gasping for air, I took in the line of people that stretched about 3 city blocks, I think, Is this really worth it?

I suppose I should admit to you who I was attempting to see that day. It was our former president, husband to a presidential candidate, Slick Willy himself, Bill Clinton. I am not a supporter of the Clintons, on the contrary, I desperately pray that Hillary is not elected president of our fine nation. A liberal like her (or her Democratic opponent) will change this country until it is unrecognizable from the the brave Christian nation it was when the founding fathers started it. I'm sure she will pull our troupes from the unfinished work in Iraq, letting the middle east turn into a terrorist hang-out. When they all come and attack us in our own neighborhood, we'll be whining to the president who will say, "You wanted free health care instead. Go inside and hide, don't talk about your God and maybe the Islamist extremists will leave you alone."

No, I am not a Clinton supporter, so my presence at this meeting made me feel a little like a spy. I like feeling like a spy. My life is pretty dull, so spending a few hours in line with a bunch of Democrats was fun for me. I walked the 3 more blocks to the end of the line and waited and waited. I fed Mandy lunch and waited some more. I gradually started talking with the pretty college seniors behind me. Everyone in line had to fill out a form with name, address, and appropriate boxes for how we wanted to help Hillary's campaign. The pretty college girls behind me said, "Well, Hillary is pro-choice and a woman, so we have to vote for her." I looked down at my baby happily sitting in her stroller and said, "I'm not pro-choice, I am a woman, but I'm not voting for Hillary." They looked at me like I really didn't belong in the line. Well, I didn't. The pretty college girls asked me how anyone could live in such a small, boring town "full-time" and I said that it suits me just fine. Again, they looked at me like I really didn't belong.

Just about the time I was ready to give up and call my spy mission a complete falier, the line started to move. It moved one block, then 2, then finally I was rounding the corner of the building where the big event was to take place. It was only 1 hour after I arrived and 1/2 hour after the meeting was supposedly starting. As we neared the entrance, I stashed the Mandy's stroller, which was not allowed in the building, and cradled her in my arms, taking the fully loaded diaper bag draped over my shoulder. That's me, the covert spy. I was pressed into the sweaty, packed gym and took in my surroundings. A big blue sheet was hung across one wall and the Dixie Chicks were blaring on the sounds system. I thought how sad it was that Bill Clinton had the Dixie Chicks playing at his meeting. I used to love the Dixie Chicks. I stood in the hot room with the other what I guess was about 1,000 people for another 1/2 hour. If you have ever held a 17 pound baby along with a fully loaded diaper bag for 1/2 hour, you will agree that 1/2 is a long time. My back was beginning to hurt, it was hot, and I started to realize defeat in my mission. I really didn't want to see Bill Clinton that bad.

My escape from the Bill Clinton meeting was quick since all the people in town were still crammed into the building I had just left. Mandy and I made our way back to the ol' mini van and headed back to the farm. Outside town, two sheriff's cars guarded the road, I suspected waiting for the former president's motor cad to drive through. I looked at the clock and noticed that now the guy was 1 and 1/2 hours late for his speaking engagement in my important town. As if my "respect-o-meter" could drop any more in my opinion of the dude. Oh well, I thought and continued on down the road. As I slowed down to turn off the main road, I saw up ahead a police car. Excitedly, I pulled off the road and waited as the police car passed followed by 3 white Escalades and another police car. These are the things that are exciting in my neck of the woods. Then again, Emma and I peer out the window every Tuesday to watch the garbage truck dump our neighbor's waste. It beats watching the weeds grow or paint peel off.

I got a lot closer to Slick Willy than most people that day as all his fancy rental cars drove passed my mini van. I suppose my mission was accomplished, whatever it was. I saw what the big deal was. I infiltrated the ranks of the Hillary supporters. I didn't save any souls or change anyone's opinion, but I came away a little wiser about what I believe. After the girls had their naps, I caught an exert from the all-important speech on the news from the crowded gym in my little home town. I don't think I missed much. The excitement has faded and now we have the small things to look forward to; like garbage pick-up day on Tuesday.