Cleaning up: the ugly side of rental property management

All of you have probably rented an apartment/house at one time or another. I have rented, if you count when my parents moved away and left me in their house and charged me rent. I was a good renter, for the most part, not including the time I almost burned the house down with a lovely, ambient candle too close to the ceiling. I'm sure, if you rent right now, you are a great renter who pays on time, cleans up after yourself, and calls to report leaks. Yes, I am sure you are a wonderful renter. Your rental manager has nothing to worry about with you.

I manage a duplex in town. My husband and I share the responsibilities: I collect rent and he mows the lawn and does the repairs that come up from time to time. Also, I handle the phone calls from renters and pacify the inevitable complaints. The best part about being a rental manager is when all my units are rented to nice, conscientious people who pay their rent on time. The worst part, and usually my reality, is that I rarely get rent on time and my renters have no idea what conscientious means. I have to continually beg/demand/threaten for the rent money.

I have a unit recently vacated by a tenant. The burden of cleaning the unit is mine because I am a trained professional. I do not want to be a trained professional, but my mother made sure that I knew a mop from a duster since the time I could crawl around and collect dust bunnies. It's not always fun to have such a valuable skill. I feel relieved that my husband will come along behind me and paint the entire unit, but still, the cleaning must be done and it is not something I enjoy.

Today I spent the majority of the day cleaning at the duplex. Thankfully, the renter who moved out really wants her deposit back, so she "cleaned" the place. I toured the 2 bedroom, 1 bath unit with the former tenant and she was quite confident that it was in tip-top shape, identical to when she moved in 2 years ago. I must say, it could have been worse. I just hate it when people not only don't clean a thing, but leave all their unwanted items behind, plus cause major damage. So, it could have been worse, but it wasn't good.

As I cleaned today in the heat with flies buzzing around my head, I realized that my definition of "clean" is obviously not the same as most people's, especially 95% of the people I have rented to in the past 4 years. I am not saying that renters in general do not know how to clean, I have just had very bad luck when selecting potential renters. In my experience, cleaning is not a life skill they have acquired.

So, I cleaned, and scrubbed, and vacuumed, and dusted the ceiling. As I mindlessly completed the tasks, I came up with the idea of a questionnaire to give to potential renters. It would be completed along with the rental application and would hold as much weight as a good credit report. Here are some of the questions I came up with:

(multiple choice, please select only one answer)

1. Do you own a vacuum cleaner?
a) Yes, and I know how to use it.
b) Yes, but it did not come with an instruction manual and I don't know how to turn it on.
c) Yes, but it is broken
d) No, I do not like to vacuum.


2. Which of the following products would you use to clean a toilet?
a) Pledge
b) Windex
c) Armor-all
d) Cleanser

3. How often do you clean your bathroom?
a) daily, my friends call me Martha Stewart. (If you circled this answer, you do not need to complete the questionnaire and you may move in immediately.)
b) once a week
c) once a month
d) whenever my landlord gives me 24 hours notice of an inspection (twice a year)

4. How would you clean stains on the carpet left by your dog?
a) with "Kids and Pets" odor and stain remover
b) leave it to dry, you'll never notice it
c) put a rug over the spot and forget about it for 3-4 months
d) the stains would never happen because I would not ever have a dog considering this unit does not allow pets of any kind, not even gerbils. (If you circled this answer, you do not need to continue this questionnaire. Instead, please move in immediately)

5. How do you clean a self cleaning oven?
a) set the oven to "self-clean" and push start.
b) I do not use an oven for cooking, so it would never get dirty.
c) I do not clean ovens, it is a disgusting task and against my religion.
d) I have no idea.

6. What do you do if you see mold growing in your shower?
a) clean the shower with a cleaning product containing mildew remover
b) ignore it, mold goes away by itself
c) call your rental manager in hysterics
d) there would never be mold in my shower because I clean it every day like Martha Stewart. (If you circled this answer, why are still filling out this questionnaire? Move in already!)

7. The landlord pays for weekly garbage service. The pick-up day is Thursday at about 9am. When should you put out your garbage for pick-up?
a) Thursday before 9am
b) Thursday at 10am when you wake up and see all your neighbors already put their cans out.
c) Friday and let it sit out on the street for 6 days.
d) When was garbage pick-up day?


True of False
(write T for a true answer or F for a false answer)

____ BBQing indoors is OK as long as I open the windows.

____ I will call the landlord immediately to report a leak.

____ I will not smoke in the unit, not even in front of a window.

____ I know how to use a broom and dust pan.



I hope you enjoyed completing this questionnaire and I'm sure you passed with flying colors and a clean home. My next job is to rent the unit to a conscientious, neat-freak, who knows to pay rent before spending his/her paycheck on boos and fancy cars. My next questionnaire will be about money and will include questions like: "If your rent is due on the first, when should you pay your rent?" and "Is it OK to not pay rent if you would rather spend your money on a new entertainment system that will a make all your neighbors cranky?" Stay tuned...